Love vs. Fear

Sudden Change
Lockdown
Fear of Unknown
Information, misinformation, opinions,
Theories, anecdotes, resources
Immunization, immunity, vulnerable groups, research
Infection numbers, death numbers, analysis, projections
Politics, communication, miscommunication, trust, distrust, theories
Brainwash from all sides, extreme-end of the spectrum opinions
People making money, people losing money, jobs, friends, family members
People dealing with different issues
Isolation
Deaths
Worry
Overdose
Depression
Anxiety
Detox Protocols
Chat Groups
Zoom Birthdays
Taking It All In
Shutting It All Out
Peace, faith, prayer, and love
Stay positive I tell myself
You are in the business of survival
You can do this too
Go inside yourself and stay still
Trust the God
The worst of all fears is the fear itself*
I repeated it many times to anyone who asked me 

how to handle what was happening around us

We need to help each other, 

Inquire, listen and understand each other, 

Love each other, not fear each other

Respect each other’s opinions, feelings, choices 

We need to stay united, understanding, and forgiving

We are in this together, really, why people can’t see this? 

I’ve seen other scenarios playing out only a few decades ago 

When political division caused irreversible damage to the entire country

and forced us out to immigrate all over the world, with a piece of our heart left behind forever 

Fear vs. Love, is the choice that simple? 

Finally, fast forward to Jan 22

I got a Positive PCR test

And a full-blown infection

There it was, INDEED…

And there was no fear, 

Just acknowledgment of what it was, even relief 

I let my body heal as I moved out of the way

There was no fear, just love, and faith

Thank You, God, Again

* We Have Nothing to Fear Except Fear Itself’ – Franklin D. Roosevelt

My People

 All my life I needed to be surrounded by people

A lot of people

Large family, large group of friends
Lots of laughs, some hurts
Starting new life
New continent, new country, new city
New souls that found mine
My priceless beautiful friends and family all around the world
They love me and they want to help
I rarely let them
Slowly I learn how to share my deepest thoughts
help others and allow to be helped
It’s not weakness I tell myself
I need to learn how to be vulnerable
They carry me through this nightmare
unaware on how much they helped
Their thoughts, prayers and love is what kept me going
I wonder if they realize that
I have to tell them
My People, I Love You

Angel

You tore my diagnosis into shreds
You said you can beat this, when no one believed it
Many times I felt like I am looking down the steep cliff
My head is spinning, my heart is pounding
I am choking, I can’t breathe
I feel like jumping off the cliff
I can’t go on
I am sitting in the car, can’t leave the hospital parking lot
Except I have to
My kids are waiting
Dinner needs to be cooked
Life must go on
I dial your number, AGAIN
You talk me off the ledge, AGAIN
Your words are pure gems, they breathe life and hope into me again 

How could I ever thank enough the universe for sending you my way
You are my Lifesaver

May you always be happy and healthy
May life give you back everything you have given to others

 Faith

Your faith is so strong, unwavering
It has always been, in all the decades since I have known you
And called you my friend
You hold me in your prayers
You lift me up to the havens and demand my healing
You don’t ask, you demand
and you receive it, always
I ask you, how
You said you have to ask and truly believe that God knows what’s best for you
I let you convince me every time and take me with you
Into а total surrender and trust
Let go and let God in, you say

and I do just that
Thank you for your faith and love
Thank you for being in my life my friend

When Hiding Became Impossible

When a white crispy snowy day peeked through my car window
and revealed a glimpse of hope
When I finally accepted what I known deep down a long time
There is no holding back anymore
My life is to be lived to the fullest in spite of all I came through
I deserve it, I need it, I want it
I am on my knees shouting:
dear God, give me my best shot to whatever comes next
I have so much to give
I am stepping out in faith
and I am not afraid
not anymore.

Moving On

I came around full circle
Anger and Denial, Hope and Faith
Anxiety and Pain, Love and Forgiveness, Acceptance
It is still a roller coaster sometimes
No one knows what each day will bring, cliché but so true
One morning I decided
I am not going to keep living in hiding
I will step out in faith, share my story
and take on what life has to offer
I finally understand all the energy wasted in keeping it all in
So grateful for the lessons learned and people met
Healing sunny places, warm and kind people, our destinies intertwined
You Are My Tribe forever
So much richer for the experiences, so much deeper and enlightened for the pain lived through
Whatever comes is welcome
Back to freedom, I finally exhale
Back to myself, a true self, just a bit bruised, but better for it
Ready to move on
The Blessed and Unstoppable